Communicating the Need for Gender Specific Programs: Tips for "Why Girls?"

“I was really happy that the club was just for girls because we feel more comfortable and it’s really cool!”

~ Anaya, 11 years old

 

“It’s less embarrassing to talk just with the girls, especially if we are talking about problems we have with boys.”

~ Natasha, 14 years old

 

“ I really liked career day. At our age, we don’t really know what we want to do when we grow up and at career day I learned that I can do things that I thought only boys could do, that I can be more than just a pretty singer”

~ Mia, 12 years old

 

The question “Why girls?” frequently comes up when running programs that are exclusively for girls. The question may take on different forms, such as: “Why do girls get special treatment?” “Why aren’t boys allowed in the program too?” “What is wrong with co-ed programs?” Whichever way it’s phrased, “Why girls?” is a question that often stems from confusion, resistance or an unfamiliarity to the need for girls’ groups and girls’ issues or fears that boys are being left out. Resistance may also come from different bureaucracies; for example, some funders might not want to support a program that is only for a “part of” society, and cite their accountability to taxpayers as a reason.

 

At the root of these concerns is often a lack of understanding that many spaces are comfortable to boys, yet these same spaces overlook some needs of girls. Because issues like privilege and lack of access to resources are often not recognized or misunderstood, responding to “Why girls?” may be a challenge.

 

Here are some general tips for engaging in conversations that ask “Why Girls?”:

 

• Acknowledge that boys programs are important and then explain that girls’ programs have a mandate to respond to girl-specific issues.

• Ask girls why they like the program: having first-hand accounts from girls often make the best cases for support!

• Girls can also be great spokespeople for the program and why it’s important.

• If parents have questions, work with the girls to explain the program.

• When meeting with potential funders, it is helpful to invite girls to talk about their experiences in the girls’ group.

• Affirm what other girls’ groups are already doing. Show that there is a community of support for this kind of work.

• If parents have concerns about your girls-only group, see if you can organize a focus group to get their input to help set up a similar programs for boys.

• Ask for a few days to respond to questions if you need it.

• Thank people for their great questions and suggestions.

 

There will never be one perfect answer to the question “Why girls?” Each person you talk to may have a different starting point for their awareness and understanding of the issues affecting girls. The following points are reasons that we think would be helpful to share, they are the result of conversations with coordinators and facilitators of girls’ groups who have passed along their common responses to this question. They are not listed in any particular order; choose the ones that will resonate most with your audience.

 

Please also refer to the section Adding (New) Information: Knowledge Building for more information on issues that are experienced differently by girls.

 

 

Responses to the Question “Why Girls?”

 

The experiences of girls and boys are different. Girls-only programming allows the possibility to explore and respond to some of those differences in a safe and fun atmosphere.

 

Girls and boys have different needs at different phases of their lives. Girls need a safe space to talk about and work through issues that they’re dealing with like self-esteem, their bodies and body image, sexuality and healthy relationships.

 

Boys and girls experience very different hormonal and developmental changes, and may be interested in different things at different stages of development as a result.

 

Racialized girls often need a space where they can explore all aspects of their identity in an integrated way. Too often programs may address the needs of racialized groups, or girls, but not both. Girls’ spaces are a special place where this can happen, where girls can express all aspects of themselves fully.

 

Girls and boys have different issues that are important to them and different perspectives on issues that need to be valued.

 

Girls need an opportunity to talk about things that are happening in the community, in their lives, in their families, and in their relationships from a gendered perspective.

 

Girls can be under a lot of pressure in our society. Competition is encouraged between girls based on who is prettiest and the most popular with boys. An all-girls space lets girls explore who they are outside of this dynamic.

 

An all-girls space creates a unique environment where girls can share their experiences and take part in activities with people who understand some of what they are talking about and without being intimidated, or by having boys dominate in the group.

 

Sometimes girls are distracted from exploring themselves, their potential, and connecting with other girls when boys are around.

 

Sometimes girls just really need someone to listen and laugh with them, hold their hand if they are going through something hard. Female facilitators are able to connect with girls on common experiences.

 

Use examples. It was suggested that if you are descriptive and use specific examples, people are more likely to understand what girls face. Dating, how to maintain personal boundaries, how to know if and when girls want to be touched, what to do when they don’t want to be touched, and how girls can defend themselves are good examples of exploring issues faced by girls. A possible script could be: “Imagine being a 12-year-old girl and in a situation where a boy wants to get physical but this girl doesn’t want to. What should she do? How can she protect herself? How can we better understand this situation?”

 

Talk about the need for girls’ programs in your context. For example, if you do violence prevention in your girls’ group, talk about why it’s important. A possible script could be: “Part of our programming is violence prevention. There is a need for girls’ spaces to address this because in our community we have had many reported cases of sexual assault against girls and women but there aren’t any resources for girls. [Note: If you use this kind of example, make sure the information you give is accurate to ensure credibility].

 

Our program supports girls to be empowered and informed so they can be safer.

 

Having girls’ spaces that engage girls in discussion, physical movement, and arts-based activities designed to build girls’ self-awareness will support girls’ realization that they are able to act on issues like violence, discrimination and social change.

 

Girls-only spaces can empower girls to think outside of what is conventionally offered to them.

 

Girls-only spaces are important opportunities for girls to break their isolation, develop positive friendships, and build skills.

 

Girls-only spaces are opportunities where girls can talk about things that are happening in the community from a gendered perspective by looking at ways to can deal with it and take action.

 

Service providers indicated that boys tend to dominate programs designed for youth, making these programs key sites of vulnerability for marginalized girls.ⁱ

 

 

Tips for Answering “Why Not Boys?”

 

We get the question ‘Why girls?’ frequently. Sometimes this questions is also worded as “Why not boys?” Offering resources for boys is a helpful way to navigate this question.

 

A possible script to answer “Why not boys?” is: “You’re right; programs for boys are also an important place where boys can do activities and have discussions to learn about themselves. If you are looking for a program for boys in the area I recommend checking with [insert name of local program or recreation centre here]. If they do not already run a boys’ program like the one you have in mind they may be able to help you to get one started.”

 

Of course, it will be important to do your homework before you get this question so you are aware of boys’ programming resources or an organization that could help them start a program for boys.

 

Also, there are other solutions to including boys, without including boys in your program and jeopardizing the safe space of the group itself, for example:

 

• Work with boys to get funding to run a boys’ group.

• Organize some mixed events organized by girls (bonfires, barbecues) where boys could come. This is also good community outreach to encourage other girls to join the group.