iii. Knowledge-Building Info Sheet: Self-Esteem

In grade six, 72% of girls have confidence in themselves, which dramatically drops in grade eight to 62% and again in grade 10 to 55%. For girls, feelings about their appearance strongly determine their level of confidence. Confidence tends to be linked to a capacity to handle stress, to have good relationships at home and at school as well as with peers, and to feel generally happy.ⁱ

 

Self-esteem is what creates a sense of self-worth for girls. It is what allows them to be confident enough to get out there and make a difference for themselves and with others. It is easy to tear down self-esteem and challenging to build it back up. In a society where girls receive constant messages that promote unrealistic ideals and deny differences, most girls can find these standards very difficult to reconcile. In a society saturated with media representations of what a beautiful woman should look like, self-esteem is most often expressed through a person’s feelings about their physical appearance or body image and fitting in. The research and our experiences have taught us that a very effective way to maintain and build self-esteem is to provide girls with a space where they are able to express themselves and learn from others who also experience challenges and oppression.

 

 

Some definitions of self-esteem

Self-esteem refers to an individual’s sense of his or her value or self-worth or the extent to which a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes or likes him or herself. The National Association for Self-Esteem adds another dimension to this definition by stating that:

 

Efforts to convey the significance and critical nature of self-esteem have been hampered by misconceptions and confusion over what is meant by the term “self-esteem.” Others have gone so far as to equate self-esteem with egotism, arrogance, conceit, narcissism, and a sense of superiority or a trait leading to violence. Such characteristics cannot be attributed to authentic, healthy self-esteem because they are actually defensive reactions to the lack of authentic self-esteem, which is sometimes referred to as “pseudo self-esteem.” Some have referred to self-esteem as merely “feeling good” or having positive feelings about oneself.ⁱⁱ

 

Often, self-esteem tends to be defined in the negative, as the opposite of what a lack of self-esteem looks like.

 

Individuals with defensive or low self-esteem are noted to:

• Focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others

• Tend to use others for their own gain

• May act with arrogance and contempt towards others

• Generally lack confidence in themselves, often have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure

• Frequently blame others for their shortcomings rather than take responsibility for their actions

 

Those with low self-esteem may be more inclined to believe negative responses that others have towards them, while invalidating positive feedback. People with high self-esteem tend to accept positive feedback and minimize negative responses.ⁱⁱⁱ

 

 

Why self-esteem is important

• “Because a young woman of colour is bombarded with society’s limiting messages regarding both her race and her gender, the damaging effects on her confidence in her abilities and intrinsic worth are potentially compounded. While all young women struggle to grow and develop a sense of self, young women of colour face added challenges, such as being labelled ‘other,’ ‘dissimilar,’ even ‘foreign.’ They may be survivors of overt racism and struggle to cope with its effects.”^iv

• “Students with higher scores on self-esteem were more likely to have a good relationship with their parents, to be well-adjusted and successful at school and to feel happy and healthy. They were less likely to feel helpless, depressed, lonely, left out; to have bad moods and to be bullying victims.”^v

• “Sexual harassment, in its multiple forms, is a poignant reminder to girls that they are not valued, and that they occupy a subordinate place in the patriarchal system … The effects of sexual harassment are far-reaching. Girls often drop out of school, develop eating and other disorders, experience a lack of self-esteem, and suffer from depression and isolation.”^vi

• “Self-esteem, self-image, and peer pressure are significant issues of concern to girls. Self-harm (suicide, eating disorders, etc.), and the internalization of stereotypes and negative images of girls, has created a “girl-poisoning environment. Depression in girls is a symptom of this environment, as is girl-on-girl violence. Girls talked about having to ‘watch their backs,’ and living in a ‘war zone.’”^vii

 

 

Intersectionality and the individualized nature of self-esteem

• The notion of self-esteem is undeniably important. A close relationship has been documented between low self-esteem and such problems as violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, school dropouts, teenage pregnancy, suicide, and low academic achievement.^viii

• When thinking about how to support girls to have healthy self-esteem, it is important to recognize the complexities of how identity and societal values play into notions of self-esteem. Racism, homophobia, sizeism and fatphobia, sexism, ableism and other systems of oppression can effect an individual’s self-esteem development in significant ways.

• It important to recognize that the individual effort of a girl alone does determine that state of her self-esteem. Self-esteem is heavily influenced by the messages a girl gets about herself from society, the media and her peers. In an environment that promotes unrealistic ideals and denies difference; girls who are seen as “different” in any way may find it difficult to have a “healthy” self-esteem.

• Studies have noted that adolescent females with low self-esteem and an unhealthy relationship to food and their bodies have often identified society’s ideal image of the independent, autonomously successful “super woman,” as their own ideal image. However, they may not recognize that such ideals are not achievable and not “real.”^ix

• If girls have a low self-esteem it is important to put this in the context of the systems and beliefs that surround them. We cannot place the responsibility for low self-esteem solely on girls themselves. At the same time, we must not play into the stereotypes that make girls appear to be victims.

 

 

Contributing factors to girls' low self-esteem

 

Media-imposed standards of beauty

• A study of the content of Seventeen Magazine (the most widely distributed adolescent magazine) for the years of 1945, 1955, 1965, 1975, 1985 and 1995 found that in all these issues, the largest percentage of pages were devoted to articles about appearance.^x

• Girls aged 14–18 were exposed to images of models (typical images of models and computer-altered images that were altered to appear overweight). Girls exposed to the typical models evaluated themselves and their appearance more negatively than the girls who had been exposed to models who were “overweight” (computer-altered).^xi

 

Blaming girls

• Five popular women's magazines were reviewed for their message regarding weight control messages and morality perceptions. Morality messages have significantly increased in food, weight control and fitness articles and ads over the past 20 years, linking morality to food choices and body weight (such as morality messages alluding to lack of control, laziness and self-indulgence linked to higher weight).^xii

 

 

Health risks resulting from girls’ negative body image and low self-esteem

Body image refers to one’s feelings, attitudes, and perceptions towards one’s body and physical appearance.^xiii There has been much publicity about girls and eating disorders, mostly focusing on the extreme and life-threatening forms such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia. It is important to recognize that girls’ relationship to their bodies and their food exists on a continuum, and that regardless of the degree of visible effects, negative body image is a problem, which limits girls’ potential.

 

• The results of a preliminary study from the National Eating Disorder Information Centre indicate that the combination of self-esteem threats and thin ideal media images results in the use of appearance to restore self-esteem. Using appearance as a source of self-worth, by definition, is likely to lend extreme importance to appearance over time.^xiv

• A poll conducted by a popular women's magazine found that 75% of women thought they were “too fat” (Glamour, 1984). A large-scale survey conducted found body dissatisfaction to be “increasing at a faster rate than ever before” among both men and women. He found that 89% of the 3,452 female respondents wanted to lose weight.^xv

 

 

How self-esteem relates to girls’ programs

Self-esteem is an important building block in the lives of girls, which can be nurtured in an environment that affirms and empowers girls. It is important to understand how self-esteem is developed and what erodes self-esteem so that these forces can be actively questioned and challenged in your girls’ program.

 

 

Tools for self-advocacy

Here are some ideas to help the girls in your program develop self-esteem and positive body image:

 

• Challenge beauty myths.

• Question why marketers benefit from girls and women feeling that they are not good enough.

• Find ways and encourage girls to express themselves

• Use artistic forms of expression as a way to help girls’ value their creative abilities (poetry, writing, painting, mural making, body art, etc.).

• Encourage and support girls to try new things.

• Validate girls' expressions of their reality.

• Practise being non-judgemental of girls’ choices.

• Practise and model effective and assertive communication of your needs and preferences.