vi. Knowledge-Building Infor Sheet: Gender Identity

Gender: What Is It?

Our society presents gender in two exclusive and broad categories: men and women. As soon as children are born, doctors automatically name (or “assign”) each infant as a boy or a girl, based on their body (despite the fact that 1 in 100 infants are born with bodies that “differ from standard male or female” anatomy¹). Children are then raised as one or the other, with all of the expectations that come with the gender that has been assigned to them. Most people have a strong sense of what gender they feel they are, although for some this does not correspond to the gender they were assigned at birth. Whether or not people identify with their assigned gender, everyone in our society is subject to judgment by certain gendered stereotypes.

Stereotypes abound for both men and women. Men are stereotyped as strong, silent, short-haired wage-earners, interested only in the functional aspects of life, not too good with children and attracted to women; while women are talkative, weaker, long-haired primary caregivers for children, obsessed with fashion and attracted to men. Some of these stereotypes have less value than they used to – it is now commonly understood that women work outside the home, may have short hair, or perhaps choose not to have children. However, most media representations and mainstream understandings of women and men are still heavily influenced by these stereotypes; and both men and women suffer when they do not conform to them.

The result of these assumptions and stereotypes about gender is often called “gender oppression.” Gender oppression can be experienced when people are directed, either implicitly by strange looks or explicitly with words or violence, to act and dress in a way that fits with how people expect men and women to act and dress. It affects a range of people, from young men who are told “not to be such a girl,” to young women who are told what pretty girls they could be if only they put on a little makeup, grew out their hair, or wore skirts now and again. Both men and women are expected to conform to a limited idea of “manhood” or “womanhood” that leaves very little room for human variation.

We know that men and women experience oppression related to their gender differently. Misogyny (the devaluation of women and the feminine) is omnipresent in our society. As we live in a society that tends to value stereotypically male traits over female traits, men can experience privilege or power associated with their gender, while women can experience loss of power or oppression associated with theirs. We also know that different women experience misogyny differently: a Black, queer, able-bodied, middle-class girl will experience misogyny in different contexts and forms than a Phillipina, straight, working class trans woman, who will experience it very differently from an upper-class, straight white woman who uses a wheelchair. That said, there is incredible value and empowerment in coming together around our common experiences and talking about the strategies we use for resisting and building our power.

Julia Serano points out a few assumptions resulting from how we perceive gender:

The fact that we perceive two major categories of gender enables us to view women and men as “opposites” – a premise that is founded on a series of… incorrect assumptions. First, in order for the two sexes to be “opposites,” they must first be mutually exclusive. Therefore, on a societal level, we purposefully ignore the variation that exists in sex characteristics and create the illusion that there is absolutely no overlap between the physical sexes. Second, we ignore the reality that intrinsic inclinations produce a continuous range of possibilities, and instead assume that each inclination produces only one of two possible outcomes, mirroring the two sexes. Thus, we assume that people can only be attracted to women or men (not both), they can only be feminine or masculine (not both), and they can identify as female or male (not both). The third assumption we make is to presume that the typical inclination for each sex holds true for all people of that sex. Thus, all female-bodied people are assumed to be feminine, to be attracted to men, and to identify as female (and vice versa for male-bodied people).

How Is this Relevant to Our Work with Girls?

As individuals who work with girls, we know that gender stereotypes are far from being universal truths. We know girls who are not interested in fashion; girls who are not just attracted to boys (or who are not attracted to boys at all); girls who love sports, and so on. We know that there is a huge variation in the way that different girls express themselves, whether through their haircuts, fashion choices, sexualities, tastes in music, etc. Some of us have worked with young people who thought of themselves as girls when we first met them, and eventually ended up identifying as boys, or as neither girls or boys. We have encountered youth who seem like boys to us, but who identify as girls and want to be part of our groups.

One of the reasons that we work with girls and young women is because we understand that gender has a great influence on how we interact with the world – along with a whole variety of other factors like class, race, religion, ability, etc. The gendered stereotypes mentioned earlier are also tied to racism, ableism, etc., because popular representations of men and women are white, thin, able-bodied, middle-class, and maybe Christian or secular, as well as straight and traditionally masculine or feminine. Anyone who does not fall into these categories is often seen as having something wrong or difficult about them, instead of being seen as part of the natural variation of humanity. We work hard to create safer spaces for the participants in our programs, where different expressions of gender are valued and appreciated, instead of being policed.

How Can We Incorporate this Understanding into Our Work?

Some Tips:

- Keep in mind that gender is often a changing thing! Be open and supportive of your participants if/when they question their own gender identity or expression.

- When discussing gender with participants, it is useful to have further reference materials handy that they could follow up with.

- Think about the language that you use. Does everyone in your group identify as a lady or a girl? Even when working in girl-specific spaces, we may have participants who, although raised as girls, do not necessarily identify that way.

- Think about the gendered nature of the activities that you facilitate. With a popular education approach, we try to start with the interests and needs that are present in the group already. However, sometimes needs and interests can get lost that do not fit within the expectations of the rest of the group. In other words, leave room for variation!

- Think ahead about what your thoughts are on including trans girls in your group (i.e. youth who were assigned as boys at birth, but who currently identify as girls). Also, consider thinking about how youth who do not identify as girls or as boys might fit into your program.