Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships: Conflict Management Reference Sheet




Conflict Management Is to…

  • Have an awareness of what conflict is and how it feels to be involved in it

  • Decide what your values are and how you will respond to the conflict

  • Choose the limits and boundaries you want to set to help you determine how you want to be treated

  • Address incidences and relationships with dignity

  • Value yourself and others when those limits and boundaries are not being respected

 

Conflict Resolution Requires Us to …

  • Understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy communication skills that lead to conflict

  • Practise healthy communication and listening skills

 

Unhealthy Communication and Actions: Understanding Abuse

Abuse is any attempt to gain power or control over another person using physical, emotional, or sexual tactics.

Physical abuse is any behaviour that is meant to control or cause harm to another person’s physical freedom, using physical force or physical presence to intimidate.

Emotional abuse is the intentional manipulation of another person’s feelings or thoughts in order to gain power over them.

Sexual abuse involves both a physical and emotional component. It is any unwanted sexual contact that is forced on, or manipulated from someone else. It may include physical contact or the suggestion of sexual contact.

 

Healthy Communication and Actions: Understanding Assertiveness

Assertiveness is standing up and expressing oneself in a way that does not violate or discount the basic rights of another person. It is the direct, honest expression of one’s own feelings or opinions without undue anxiety, guilt, or anger.

 

Assertiveness IS constructive rather than destructive

Assertiveness is NOT blaming or threatening of others

 

Assertiveness is based on respect of oneself and others. It is about recognizing appropriate boundaries.

 

 

 




Tips for resolving conflict with healthy assertiveness:

 

  • Understand what boundaries you need in a given situation and understand the boundaries of the other person(s) involved.

  • Know yourself. Respecting yourself and your right to voice your opinion is crucial to coming across assertively.

  • Try to ensure that your non-verbal communication is assertive but not attacking, blaming or self-depreciating. For example, your tone of voice, facial and body expression need to be consistent with your words: be aware.

  • Be direct and clear with your message without hinting, making excuses or beating around the bush: mean what you say.

  • Be open and willing to listen to other points of view being expressed.