Relating In a Relationship




Objective(s) & Context

  1. Explore concepts of communication.

  2. Identify healthy and productive ways of communicating with an emphasis on learning how to listen.

  3. Identify patterns of communicating.

  4. Incorporate the concept of boundaries into the practice of communication.

 

Duration

1 hour

 

Group Size

10–25

 

Age Group

15 +

 

Skills

Leadership, communication, listening

 

Format(s) & Technique(s)

Pair work and large group discussion

 

Materials

Flip chart

Flip chart paper with information from the Relating in a Relationship: Reference Sheet written on it

Relating in a Relationship: Reference Sheet

Markers

Masking tape, chalk or string

 

Facilitation Tips

  • This activity may trigger memories of experiences that have been or are hurtful. Ensure that you have time to debrief with participants (either as a group or one on one).

  • Having resources like pamphlets on healthy relationships, websites, or the contact of the school or community counsellor is a good idea.

  • Part 3 can be done more creatively, if you think a discussion period isn’t suitable for your group.

  • An example of a creative alternative to Part 3 might be to set up a row of flip chart papers (2 or 3 pieces) on the wall. Ask participants to write down a word or phrase that indicates their most important lesson from each part of the activity. Invite them to sign their names next to their contribution or draw a picture that represents who they are.

 

Popular Education Prompts

  • You may want to take note of the themes that arise in the conversation in order to follow-up with another workshop that responds more directly to the needs that emerge. These themes are important in facilitating the next steps in healthy relationships and helping the group decide how they want to take action.

  • You may need to bring in additional information to respond to themes or questions raised in the group.

 

 

Leading the Activity: Steps to Take

Preparation:

  1. Make a flipchart version of the “Boundaries,” “Listening,” and “Barriers to Listening” points from Relating in a Relationship: Reference Sheet..

  2. If needed, prepare a flipchart version of the listening points in Part 2.

 

Workshop:

There are three parts in this activity.

 

Part 1: Pair work (15 minutes)

Part 1 makes boundaries concrete. It gives participants an opportunity to visualize their boundaries and offers them an experience to increase their comfort level with these boundaries.

 

  1. Explain to participants that it is important to gain a sense of what their boundaries are, and what it feels like when boundaries may be stepped over. It may be that participants realize that they have not set any and may need to.

  2. Remind participants that knowing one’s self comes from experience.

  3. Review the information about boundaries on the flip chart version of the Relating in a Relationship: Reference Sheet and then begin the exercise.

  4. Divide participants into pairs. Ask each pair to sit facing each other.

  5. Give each pair some masking tape, a piece of chalk, or a piece of string.

  6. Invite each pair to sit as close together as they would like to. It is very important to express this as an invitation and not as mandatory or something they have to do.

  7. Ask participants to use the masking tape, chalk, or string to create a boundary around herself.

  8. Ask each person to sit as close to her partner as she would like without stepping out of the visual boundaries they created.

  9. Ask participants:

    • Between the two scenarios, which one made you feel more at ease, or more comfortable?

    • What reactions did you have physically, mentally, or emotionally when you had to sit in a proximity to your partner that made you uncomfortable?

 

Part 2: Pair Work (15 minutes, 5 minutes per speaker)

Part 2 focuses on listening and barriers to listening. It gives participants an opportunity to exercise their approach to listening, giving them the experience to reflect on their own practice. Review the information about listening and barriers to listening that you wrote on the flip chart version of the Relating in a Relationship: Reference Sheet and then begin the exercise.

  1. Divide participants into pairs. Ask each pair to sit facing each other.

  2. Ask each pair to select a Listener and a Speaker. They will have an opportunity to switch roles and repeat the exercise.

  3. Ask the Speaker to tell the Listener a story about an experience she had when she was a child.

  4. Ask the listener to:

    • Find out what the speaker is feeling while telling the story.

    • Tell the speaker what they understand from the story being told and check if they correctly understood the story.

    • Ensure they have enough information to really understand and if not, to ask the speaker questions.

    • Give feedback to the speaker and ask if they would like to discuss anything else.

    • Try to be comfortable with not responding right away, but use silent time to think about the other person’s story.

 

You may wish to put up a flip chart version of these points for participants to use as a guide during the activity.

  1. Once the first set of stories is complete, ask the participants to switch roles and repeat the exercise.

 

Part 3: Large Group Discussion (25 minutes)

  1. Lead a large group discussion to synthesize the experiences of the participants.

  2. Ask them to discuss what their most important lesson was from each part of the activity.

  3. Record their answers on flip chart paper.

 

Debrief

Questions to ask the group:

  • Why do you think boundaries are important?

  • What was your favourite part of the activity? Why?

  • Did you learn anything new or were you reminded of something important?

  • Is there anything you are still wondering about or would like to know more about?

 

Success Indicators

Participants are:

  • Able to explain concepts of communication

  • Able to use healthy ways of communicating

  • Communicating more effectively

  • Better equipped to define their own boundaries

 

Source: Adapted from It’s Our Turn: A Handbook for Youth Role Models (The Laurel Centre: Winnipeg, Manitoba, 2003)