Questioning Sexuality: Session I




Objective(s) and Context

  1. Examine all types of sexuality.

  2. Consider discrimination experienced as a result of one’s sexuality (homophobia, heterosexism).

  3. Determine how one can be more open and accepting of the sexual orientations of others, and to encourage questioning sexualities.

  4. Promote acceptance of different sexual orientations.

 

Duration

3–4 hours

 

Group Size

10–30

 

Age Group

13 +

 

Skills

Analytical, comprehension and communication skills

 

Format(s) & Technique(s)

Individual reflection, brainstorming, small group work, large group discussion

 

Materials

Attitudes, Beliefs, and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet

“Top Ten Fears of Acknowledging Sexuality and Coming Out” Section available further on in this workshop

Flip chart

Markers

Pens or pencils

 

Facilitation Tips

We must work to create a space in which sexual diversity is accepted and where the girls feel comfortable in discussing sexuality. To do this we should be aware of the following issues while this session is taking place:

  • Our own prejudices and presumptions: Use queer positive and non-heterosexist (non-gendered/sexed) language. For example, if a participant says “I have a date tonight,” saying “That’s exciting, what are you doing?” is less presumptive than “Great, what’s his name?”

  • Be aware of the language that is being used in the room.

  • Set out a plan with your co-facilitator about how to deal with conflict before the workshop.

  • Keep your own emotions in check. If you come across homophobia or homophobic comments from the group, do not be hostile and do not single a girl out, but rather, restate the rule of respect and emphasize that this is a diverse space where all sexual orientations are respected.

  • Keep in mind that this may be the first time for a few things, so remember to observe and maintain a strong group dynamic. Refer back to the ground rules or group agreement. For example this could be the first time:

    • Girls are encountering others of a sexual orientation different from their own and this may be the first opportunity they have had to discuss it.

    • They may be questioning their own sexual identity and are sensitive to the issue (not wanting others to find out etc.) and could get easily offended and/or hurt.

  • This workshop is structured to be a comprehensive introduction, it is not meant to be a deep exploration into each issue. As facilitators, keep your target group in mind and decide what you would like to concentrate on.

  • Choose only the issues that are presented in the topics for Attitudes, Beliefs and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet, such as legal rights, gender identity, racism as related to sexuality, and dis/ability as related to sexuality and gender.

  • Religious and ideological issues that may arise:

  • When discussing sexuality, religion, as well as a variety of ideological perspectives may come up. It is important for the facilitators to realize this and talk openly with co-facilitators about how to handle this issue.

  • As facilitators trying to foster a non-discriminatory space, it is our job to recognize the religious and ideological diversity of the group and to create a space where everyone can voice their opinions while trying to ensure that no one feels singled-out or discriminated against.

  • A suggestion in dealing with religious or ideological issues would be to remind the group of the diversity of everyone in the room, and to create some ground rules of respect and acceptance.

 

Popular Education Prompts

  • Start out by checking in with where the participants are at in terms of knowledge around this topic. For example ask them what they hope to learn through this workshop or whether they have anything to share on the topic.

  • Be prepared for the discussion to begin as a basic discussion on the meaning of some of the words we use in the workshop, for example, sexual orientation, GLBTQ, etc.

  • It could be useful to have some resources on hand aimed at questioning youth or allies.

 

Leading the Activity: Steps to Take

Preparation:

  1. There are three parts to this activity.

  2. Create a flip chart version of the Attitudes, Beliefs, and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet and the “Top Ten Fears of Acknowledging Sexuality and Coming Out” blurb.

  3. Have copies on hand of the Attitudes, Beliefs, and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet for everyone in the group.

 

Workshop:

Part 1 (45 minutes):

  1. Post the flip chart version of the questions on the wall.

  2. Hand out one copy of the Attitudes, Beliefs, and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet to each small group.

  3. Ask participants to reflect on the questions on their own.

  4. Ask them to complete the questionnaire (20 minutes).

  5. Let them know that this is not going to be shared with anyone else in the room and that in the discussion afterwards, they can share whatever information they feel comfortable with.

  6. Ask participants to form a horseshoe on the floor.

  7. Go over the questions with participants using the flip chart version of the questions on the Attitudes, Beliefs, and Sexual Orientation: Reference Sheet .

  8. For each question, ask participants to only call out words that they used in their answers to describe what they responded, but not their full answers. This might help those participants that are not comfortable with sharing their responses and it will help you to quickly get a sense of where the group is at with this issue.


Part 2 (1 hour and 15 minutes):

  1. Lead a discussion with the group on issues around sexual orientation.

  2. Before beginning, read the following quote:

 

Excerpt from Our Bodies Our Selves For the New Century

“We are all sexual – young, old, married, single, with or without disability, sexually active or not, transgendered, heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian. As we change, our sexuality changes, too.

Learning about sex is a life long process. When we have relationships with other people, sexuality can be pleasure we want to give and get – communication that is fun and playful, serious and passionate.

It can be a tender reaching out or an intense and compelling force that takes us over. It can get us into situations that delight us, and ones we wish we could get out of. Sex can open us to new levels of loving and knowing with someone we love and trust. It can be a vital source of energy.

Misused it can hurt us tremendously. All of us as women face the troubling paradox of seeking to open ourselves to the deep vulnerabilities of sexual loving in a society in which we are often not safe or valued.”

 

3. Explain to the group that this activity is about practising acceptance, openness, and talking about sexuality in a place where we are safe and valued.

4. Remind participants to be respectful of each other’s attitudes, beliefs, and expression of their views.

5. Begin the first discussion on homophobia and heterosexism by sharing the following statement with participants:

 

 

Homophobia is the irrational fear and hatred of homosexuality in others and in ourselves.

It affects people of all sexual orientations and can happen at any time in our daily lives.

It makes us reject aspects of our own personality and looks that are not “feminine” enough, causes us to deny attractions that may be natural and right for us, and prevents us from publicly acknowledging our friendships with lesbian and bisexual women.

 

6. Lead a large group discussion using the suggested questions listed below.

7. You may want to write them on flip chart paper, so that participants can think about them for a few minutes.

  • What are some examples of homophobia from your lives?

  • Can you think of a time that someone around you displayed homophobia?

  • Can you think of times that you may have made homophobic comments, knowingly or unknowingly?

  • What are some reasons for homophobia? For example, misunderstanding, conservative upbringing, or fear of the unknown.

  • What are the ways people of LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Trans and Queer) orientations experience discrimination? Discuss economic, social and political situations of discrimination.

8. Discuss the fears listed below and how they apply/do not apply to everyone in the group.

9. Have participants brainstorm whether there are any fears missing that would be important to add to this list.

10. Let participants know that no one in the group should speak about their own sexuality unless they would like to.

 

 

Top Ten Fears of Acknowledging Sexuality and Coming Out

  1. Fear of personal shame.

  2. Fear of public embarrassment or social ostracism.

  3. Fear of being labelled as “not normal.”

  4. Fear of discussing unpleasant or sexual topics within the family.

  5. Fear of loss of family and friends.

  6. Fear of confusion about one’s own sexuality.

  7. Fear of violence.

  8. Fear of being “hit upon.”

  9. Fear of economic or job discrimination.

  10. Fear of stereotypes concerning STI’s and HIV/AIDS.

Source: Bob Powers and Alan Ellis, A Family and Friend’s Guides to Sexual Orientations

 

11. Continue the discussion on homophobia and heterosexism by sharing the following statements with participants:

 

Heterosexism is the belief in the superiority of heterosexuality, belief in heterosexuality being the norm, acting and speaking without taking into account non-heterosexual experience.

It is the institutionalized assumption that heterosexuality is the only normal orientation, and denies [people] of legal, religious, and social privileges.

 

“Homophobia and heterosexism are politically useful tools for those who want to preserve the “traditional” forms of family life and suppress alternatives.”

Our Bodies Our Selves for the New Century

 

Heterosexism can be very subtle. For example, it can be doctor’s forms that ask for the names of your mother and father, or something less obvious such as the fact that a queer child has to “come out” as queer, when straight children do not have to “come out” as straight. By coming out, we are implicitly saying that there is an “in.”

 

12. Continue the discussion using the suggested questions listed below. You may want to write them on flip chart paper so that participants can think about them for a few minutes:

  • What are some examples of how we can be heterosexist without knowing?

  • Can you think of situations that you have been in where heterosexism was explicit/implicit?

  • What are some institutions that imply heterosexism? For example, marriage or perhaps health classes at school?

13. Ask participants to make a list of things they can do or change in their immediate lives to eliminate homophobia and heterosexism from the world around us.

14. Ask participants to draw or write their responses on flip chart paper.

 

Part 3

  1. Ask each group, in turn, to present the results of their small group discussions by presenting the list they created.

  2. Once the groups have presented their lists, identify with them the similar ideas presented among the groups, and the unique ideas to each group. You can keep track of the discussion by circling them with different coloured markers.

  3. Ask participants what they can immediately start to do to create change (even as soon as they leave the room).

  4. If you are doing this as its own session,

 

Debrief

Questions to ask the group:

  • Was there anything you found especially useful in the activity?

  • Ask participants to form a circle to close the session. Then ask participants to go around and share one word with the group that describes how they feel about this session. It is a good way to gauge the general emotions around the room and not leave the participants with heavy feelings unexpressed.

 

Success Indicators

Participants are:

  • Able to explain the differences between sexual orientations

  • More comfortable talking about sexuality

  • Able to talk about discrimination experienced as a result of one’s sexuality and have a better understanding of concepts like homophobia and heterosexism

  • More open to differences between people based on their sexual orientation

 

Sources: Definitions adapted from: BUST Magazine, The Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives, Gay and Lesbian Community Centre Montreal, Guide to Gracious Lesbian Living; Lilith Publications, Lesbian Sex by JoAnn Loulan; Spinsters Ink, 1984, McGill Women’s Union, A Family and Friends Guide to Sexual Orientation by Bob Powers and Alan Ellis; Routledge, 1996, Queer McGill, YouthResources.com, MatthewSheppard.com